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October 16, 2007

Bad Cyclist: A Song Parody

Sometimes my writing gets its inspiration from the most interesting places.

Take this tale of stupidity made worse by idiocy in jolly ol' England:

A cyclist gave police a false name after he was seen riding on a pavement.

Nicholas Skinner (19) was seen cycling on a pavement in Westlode Street, Spalding, by police on the afternoon of June 14.

He rode between parked vehicles and onto the correct side of the street after officers shouted at him to get off the pavement and was later seen parking his bike outside Maples Solicitors.

Spalding magistrates heard on Tuesday that Skinner told the officer his name was Gareth Searle before his real identity was revealed by another officer.

Skinner, of London Road, Spalding, was charged with failing to give his name to an officer and riding a cycle on the footpath but did not respond to the court summons.

He was also facing a charge of failing to comply with a red light but this was withdrawn.

Magistrates fined the  guy more (£60) for not giving his name and address than for riding on a path (£40)! He was also ordered to pay costs of £60 and a victim surcharge of £15.

Now, I ask you, was it worth it to ride on the sidewalk, and risk getting caught?

Certainly not in THIS town! ;-D

From Spalding Today, and Lincolnshire Free Press - 10/16: Cyclist gave false name after riding on pavement.

So what was the first thing that runs through my twisted little brain?

The lryics to the theme song of one of my favorite reality TV shows! (My sister and her hubby are Sheriff Deputies.)

You know the one, even if you don't know all the words.

Sing, or hum, along with my version. ;-D

Bike Police
Lyrics by The Cycling Dude with sincere apologies to Inner Circle. (Watch the Video, on YouTube, to get in the right mood!)

Bad cyclist, whatcha want, whatcha want,
Whatcha gonna do when the cops come for you.
Tell me, where ya gonna ride, whatcha gonna do? Yeahhh?

Bad cyclist bad cyclist
Where ya gonna ride, whatcha gonna do
when they come for you
Bad cyclist, bad cyclist
Where ya gonna ride, watcha gonna do
when they come for you

When you were eight
And you had a Schwinn that was great
You go to school and you learn the golden rule
So why are you acting like a bloody fool
If you wanna be hot you must ride cool

Bad cyclist bad cyclist
Where ya gonna ride, whatcha gonna do
when they come for you
Bad cyclist, bad cyclist
Where ya gonna ride, watcha gonna do
when they come for you

You ride it on that sidewalk
You ride it on this sidewalk
You ride it past mothers
You ride it past fathers
You ride it past your brother
You ride it past your sister
You ride it past everyone and you ride it past me

Bad cyclist bad cyclist
Where ya gonna ride, whatcha gonna do
when they come for you
Bad cyclist, bad cyclist
Where ya gonna ride, watcha gonna do
when they come for you

Bad cyclist bad cyclist
Where ya gonna ride, whatcha gonna do
when they come for you
Bad cyclist, bad cyclist
Where ya gonna ride, watcha gonna do
when they come for you

Nobody naw give you no break
Police naw give you no break
Soldier man-a give you no break
Not even Safe Cyclists naw give you no break

Bad cyclist bad cyclist
Where ya gonna ride, whatcha gonna do
when they come for you
Bad cyclist, bad cyclist
Where ya gonna ride, watcha gonna do
when they come for you

Bad cyclist bad cyclist
Where ya gonna ride, whatcha gonna do
when they come for you
Bad cyclist, bad cyclist
Where ya gonna ride, watcha gonna do
when they come for you

Why did you have to ride where it's not so keen?
Don't you know you're a human being,
Born of a mother with the love of a father,
Reflections come and reflections go
I know sometimes - you want to just ride, hey, hey, hey
I know sometimes - you want to just go, wohh!

Bad cyclist bad cyclist
Where ya gonna ride, whatcha gonna do
when they come for you
Bad cyclist, bad cyclist
Where ya gonna ride, watcha gonna do
when they come for you

You're too bad.

You're too rude

You're too bad

You're too rude, yeah

Bad cyclist bad cyclist
Where ya gonna ride, whatcha gonna do
when they come for you
Bad cyclist, bad cyclist
Where ya gonna ride, watcha gonna do
when they come for you

You ride it on that sidewalk
You ride it on this sidewalk
You ride it past mothers
You ride it past fathers
You ride it past your brother
You ride it past your sister
You ride it past everyone and you ride it past me

Bad cyclist bad cyclist
Where ya gonna ride, whatcha gonna do
when they come for you
Bad cyclist, bad cyclist
Where ya gonna ride, watcha gonna do
when they come for you

October 16, 2007 in Creative Writing, Life on the Street: Local, and state Laws, and other topics | Permalink

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