The Cycling Dude

This Cycling Question, and Debate, is a Gas!

Okay, folks, the question of the day is as follows:

Will the smell travel if you fart while cycling?

When you are bicycling and have to let one loose, will it travel behin you for a period of time, or will it stay in one spot?

If you are in a group ride, and someone is drafting you, will they receive the smell for a long period of time, or just pass through it?

I awoke this morning in a humorous frame of mind, and did a google search for Farting and Bicycling, and came up a Yahoo Answers! page where a variation of the above was asked 6 months ago, and got 7 answers.

One person asked a very valid question: WTF IS THIS? ASK A REAL CYCLE QUESTION!

So, is this a valid cycling question?

Here is the best answer posted, as chosen by the asker of the question, and 1 other good one:

1. There are many factors to consider here, such as the ambient temperature, the wind speed and direction, the absorbency of the clothes you are wearing (especially around the stench trench) your diet and your genetic ability to brew a bad one. I for one cannot factor in all these variables, but as a rule of bum, I have found that farts tend to linger for a while, during which time riding buddies tend to fall back a bit- in a race, a fart can be a highly advantageous tactical manoeuvre. Good luck to you, and pray you never get in a race with me.

2. This my friend is a very complex question, very many factors can effect the aromatic distribution of the gaseous release. For example if you are in a draft line the smell will definitely be detected should it be a real stinker by most if not all of your team. If by chance there is a side wind maybe only by the rider directly behind. The fart will linger as the tight shorts tend to hold the discharge for a few seconds after release, bibs can be even worse. With bibs the smell will actually be drawn forward allowing you to catch a whiff as well up thru your jersey! But fear not the smell will be just a quick blast, and as long as you are not in the front and called out by the rider behind you you should safely be able to rip one and get away with it.

BUT if you are a good friend or teammate you will peel off the line and assume a position at the rear, clear your rear and make your way back to the front.

Fascinating...um, hee, hee! ;-D

In the last 20 years I've only rode in a group maybe 5 times, so I'm the last person to ask for expert opinion. ;-D

Is there anyone out there who has NOT wondered about this important question?

Is there any one who has done some serious research on the subject, maybe for a study, or research paper, or something? ;-D

Any thoughts, and observations, from the Readership Assembled, especially those with experience from either the giving, or receiving, end of, well, um, hee, hee!

You can read the other answers, here.

 

 

You Adore Your Bicycle, Admit It!: The Sequel

In August 2006 I wrote a poem called THE MAN AND THE BICYCLE, as part of a post about how you know you are a Bicyclist, and utterly adore your Trusty Steed.

Along with the poem I wrote a few observations that would make any short list answering the question You Know You're a Bicyclist When . . ., and tossed in an amusing photo of me and my Bicycle, for good measure (The same one at the top of my sidebar, only larger.).

I also linked to an excellent essay on the subject by Megan Ann, of Ausin, TX., who is still blogging to this day. ;-D

When she discovered my post, 2 months later, she left this comment in response:

Ha ha....how sweet that you read to your bike and pull up the covers for him. thanks for including some stuff I wrote in your post.

Enjoy your riding - your bike should be ready after a good nites sleep! :-)

Well, David Fiedler, on his Bike Blog, at About.com, recently started a list, and has encouraged his readers to come up with their own additions.

My contributions to his List are...

You Know You're a Cyclist When . . .

1. You take your bike in for its annual phys, um, I mean tune-up, the first thing you say when the Doc, um, I mean, Mechanic comes to tell you the news is...Level with, man, don't hold back, I can take it. Will He/She live?

2. If you have the talent for it, and even if you don't, you write poems to your bicycle, or at least ABOUT bicycling, and read them to your silent, & uncritical, Trusty Steed.

3. You have been going to the same Bike Shop for so long that the owner, or at least 1 employee, can share war stories about changing your diapers, and feeding you, when your Father worked there during his, and your Mothers, college years. (This one can be scary to contemplate if your shop is one of the ones on my list of Elder Statesmen & Women of the Industry, in my sidebar, all 67 to 116 years old, and you are at least 67 yourself!)

You ADORE your Bicycle, ADMIT IT!! ;D

The Comments, here, and at my original post as well, are always open, and awaiting your confession! ;-D

No. 1 Thing to Watch Out for While on the Long Beach Bike Trail

 

Beware of dogs dragging women!!!

I love this image! ;-D

It can be found within the first couple of miles of the trail as it heads from its head at Bayshore, and Ocean Blvd., west, to Downtown Long Beach.

No, there is not a matching one with a man anywhere on the length of the trail. ;-D

I guess it's automatically assumed, in our society, that guys can control their mutts when out on walk-about. ;-D

Thought for the Day

Anybody can ride a Bicycle...but it takes TALENT to stay on.

Discuss. ;-D

Catch and Release Not Just an Angler Thing, and Other Cycling Terms

Catch and Release: A method of Recreational Bicycling in which the fast traveling Bicyclist immediately puts the slower cyclist he/she has caught up with back into the saddle and returns it to the road/trail on which it was caught.

Other Definitions:

Bicyclist/Cyclist: A person, male or female, who bicycles.

Bicycling Slow Species: A species that thrives in abundance and diversity, threatening the mental stability of some fellow cyclists, and many motorists by their conscious choice to take things slow and easy while out and about riding their trusty steed for recreational use. (See Catch and Release)

Ecosystem: A dynamic complex of concrete, dirt, gravel, motoring, and non-motoring, animal, and human communities and their non-living environment interacting in seperate, or interconnected ways.

Exotic: A species that is not native to a Motoring Environment, but is often encountered in certain Cycling Environments.

Most often associated with humans traveling on foot, and frequently encountered walking or jogging, with Noise Providing Devices (NPD's) attached to their heads, walking one or more Canines, of various shapes, and sizes, or while pushing strange single, or multiple, occupancy vehicles designed to transport their very young from one location to another until they are able to do so safely under their own power (Sometimes these particular Exotics also have an NPD on their heads) .

All of these could be ecountered while wearing special shoes with wheels that allow them to propel themselves faster than normal foot propulsion allows.

Lout: Non-vulgar variation of name (Hey, I'm trying to shield the kiddies reading this!) given to all species of cyclists by those they share an environment with but who think they should not do so for various reasons only understood by them.

Cutthroat Lout: Same as above but specific to that species of cyclist that runs in packs.

Native Bicycling/Cycling Species:The Human Recreationalist who utilizes the Bicycle, and its various related cycling kin, on bike lanes, paved, and un-paved trails, or even regular streets where the law allows for them to be.

Mountain Mud Human: A species of daring, some say unhinged, Human Recreationalist in the Bicycling Family. A native of many  mountain trails, Mountain Mud Humans are an often spandexed, generally seat-of-their-pants, breed of cyclist that lives for adventure, and danger.

Scientific name: Propulsium Nutso.

Whirling Disease: Name given to what happens when a cyclists steed has a flat or other mechanical breakdown, or the cyclist hits a bump, or hole in the road, or trail, collides with a fellow cyclist, or otherwise has one of those moments when he/she becomes separated from their trusty steed, and creatively impacts the road.

Not to be confused with a similar Disease related to encounters with Motor Vehicles, the whirling Disease was first introduced in Europe in the early 19th century, moments after the invention of the prototype early bicycle-like vehicle, and it was given its first test run, and has spread around the world ever since.

Scientific name: Ouchulus Thatsgonnaleaveamarkalis.

(A Tip of the Hat to reader Not Slow Joe, for the video that inspired this post!)

Are Bicycles Better than Women? How Would NOW Answer that?

Wonder what the National Organization for Women would say about "The Top 29 Ways Bicycles are BETTER than Women"? ;-D

My favorites?

2. You can ride your bicycle any time of the month.

7. When riding, you and your bicycle can arrive at the same time.

10. Bicycles don't care if you buy bicycle magazines.

15. You can have a black bicycle and bring it home to your parents.

18. You can ride your bicycle as long as you want and it won't get sore.

19. You can stop riding your bicycle as soon as you want and it wont get
     frustrated.

22. Bicycles don't insult you if you're a bad rider.

27. You can ride your bicycle the first time you meet it without
     having to take it to dinner, see a movie, or meet its mother.

Read the rest here.

The Real Reason Bicycle Shorts are Black

Ever wondered why bicycle shorts are always black?

They are everywhere!

What's the fashion conscious male cyclist to do?

For some folks another color might not be a problem, but, um, based on the evidence, THIS cyclist will stick to what he wears already (not shorts). ;-D

Phun With Photography at GT Bicycles

It's Hunting Season in many parts of the United States, and elsewhere.

Some folks hunt the Animal Kingdom's fine-feathered friends.

Some folks hunt Bears, Deer, Moose, Democrats, Republicans, and other critters that taste good served for Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner. ;-D

GT Bicycles caters to an entirely different type of Hunter, and their prey. ;-D

Are you the Hunter or the Hunted?

Do you have a License to Hunt?

I had a bit of fun, to start the day, with their Catch and  Release Funny Photo gimmick. ;-D

This photo shows me "Hunting" "Bob Hope" on the Highway.;-D

Put a little laughter in your day, or someone else's. ;-D

Turmoil on Wall St? Bicycles

Yup, Bicycles!

Invest in anything related to Bicycles!

Why?

If everything goes to Hell in a Handbasket next week, no-one's gonna have enough money to buy a drop of gas, or pay their car payment...

This means everyone will be riding bicycles to work by election day! ;-D

BTW...I don't know squat about investing. ;-D

The Fat Cyclist Explains How to Talk to Non-Cyclists

Did you, fellow cyclist, know that there are 5 Rules with regards to how to talk to non-cyclists?

Me neither!

Ya learn something new every day! ;-D

Elden Nelson, The Fat Cyclist, sets out to edumicate us, over at Bike Radar:

Sadly, not everyone is like you and I. I am sad to say that there are people out there who rarely - if ever! - ride bikes at all. It's possible you even know someone like this. A coworker. A family member. You'd be surprised at how common non-cyclists are, actually. You probably encounter them several times per day and simply don't notice them, because they aren't interesting.

Mostly, you can safely ignore these people, simply by riding away from them. Sometimes, though - at a company party, say - it is impossible to avoid non-cyclists. Surrounded, you have no choice but to communicate with them.

Don't worry. I'm here to help.

Hee, hee. ;-D