November 29, 2008

Catch and Release Not Just an Angler Thing, and Other Cycling Terms

Catch and Release: A method of Recreational Bicycling in which the fast traveling Bicyclist immediately puts the slower cyclist he/she has caught up with back into the saddle and returns it to the road/trail on which it was caught.

Other Definitions:

Bicyclist/Cyclist: A person, male or female, who bicycles.

Bicycling Slow Species: A species that thrives in abundance and diversity, threatening the mental stability of some fellow cyclists, and many motorists by their conscious choice to take things slow and easy while out and about riding their trusty steed for recreational use. (See Catch and Release)

Ecosystem: A dynamic complex of concrete, dirt, gravel, motoring, and non-motoring, animal, and human communities and their non-living environment interacting in seperate, or interconnected ways.

Exotic: A species that is not native to a Motoring Environment, but is often encountered in certain Cycling Environments.

Most often associated with humans traveling on foot, and frequently encountered walking or jogging, with Noise Providing Devices (NPD's) attached to their heads, walking one or more Canines, of various shapes, and sizes, or while pushing strange single, or multiple, occupancy vehicles designed to transport their very young from one location to another until they are able to do so safely under their own power (Sometimes these particular Exotics also have an NPD on their heads) .

All of these could be ecountered while wearing special shoes with wheels that allow them to propel themselves faster than normal foot propulsion allows.

Lout: Non-vulgar variation of name (Hey, I'm trying to shield the kiddies reading this!) given to all species of cyclists by those they share an environment with but who think they should not do so for various reasons only understood by them.

Cutthroat Lout: Same as above but specific to that species of cyclist that runs in packs.

Native Bicycling/Cycling Species:The Human Recreationalist who utilizes the Bicycle, and its various related cycling kin, on bike lanes, paved, and un-paved trails, or even regular streets where the law allows for them to be.

Mountain Mud Human: A species of daring, some say unhinged, Human Recreationalist in the Bicycling Family. A native of many  mountain trails, Mountain Mud Humans are an often spandexed, generally seat-of-their-pants, breed of cyclist that lives for adventure, and danger.

Scientific name: Propulsium Nutso.

Whirling Disease: Name given to what happens when a cyclists steed has a flat or other mechanical breakdown, or the cyclist hits a bump, or hole in the road, or trail, collides with a fellow cyclist, or otherwise has one of those moments when he/she becomes separated from their trusty steed, and creatively impacts the road.

Not to be confused with a similar Disease related to encounters with Motor Vehicles, the whirling Disease was first introduced in Europe in the early 19th century, moments after the invention of the prototype early bicycle-like vehicle, and it was given its first test run, and has spread around the world ever since.

Scientific name: Ouchulus Thatsgonnaleaveamarkalis.

(A Tip of the Hat to reader Not Slow Joe, for the video that inspired this post!)

November 29, 2008 in Bicycling Humor | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

November 09, 2008

Are Bicycles Better than Women? How Would NOW Answer that?

Wonder what the National Organization for Women would say about "The Top 29 Ways Bicycles are BETTER than Women"? ;-D

My favorites?

2. You can ride your bicycle any time of the month.

7. When riding, you and your bicycle can arrive at the same time.

10. Bicycles don't care if you buy bicycle magazines.

15. You can have a black bicycle and bring it home to your parents.

18. You can ride your bicycle as long as you want and it won't get sore.

19. You can stop riding your bicycle as soon as you want and it wont get
     frustrated.

22. Bicycles don't insult you if you're a bad rider.

27. You can ride your bicycle the first time you meet it without
     having to take it to dinner, see a movie, or meet its mother.

Read the rest here.

November 9, 2008 in Bicycling Humor | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 27, 2008

The Real Reason Bicycle Shorts are Black

Ever wondered why bicycle shorts are always black?

They are everywhere!

What's the fashion conscious male cyclist to do?

For some folks another color might not be a problem, but, um, based on the evidence, THIS cyclist will stick to what he wears already (not shorts). ;-D

October 27, 2008 in Bicycling Humor | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 21, 2008

Phun With Photography at GT Bicycles

It's Hunting Season in many parts of the United States, and elsewhere.

Some folks hunt the Animal Kingdom's fine-feathered friends.

Some folks hunt Bears, Deer, Moose, Democrats, Republicans, and other critters that taste good served for Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner. ;-D

GT Bicycles caters to an entirely different type of Hunter, and their prey. ;-D

Are you the Hunter or the Hunted?

Do you have a License to Hunt?

I had a bit of fun, to start the day, with their Catch and  Release Funny Photo gimmick. ;-D

This photo shows me "Hunting" "Bob Hope" on the Highway.;-D

Put a little laughter in your day, or someone else's. ;-D

October 21, 2008 in Bicycling Humor | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

September 26, 2008

Turmoil on Wall St? Bicycles

Yup, Bicycles!

Invest in anything related to Bicycles!

Why?

If everything goes to Hell in a Handbasket next week, no-one's gonna have enough money to buy a drop of gas, or pay their car payment...

This means everyone will be riding bicycles to work by election day! ;-D

BTW...I don't know squat about investing. ;-D

September 26, 2008 in Bicycling Humor | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

September 05, 2008

The Fat Cyclist Explains How to Talk to Non-Cyclists

Did you, fellow cyclist, know that there are 5 Rules with regards to how to talk to non-cyclists?

Me neither!

Ya learn something new every day! ;-D

Elden Nelson, The Fat Cyclist, sets out to edumicate us, over at Bike Radar:

Sadly, not everyone is like you and I. I am sad to say that there are people out there who rarely - if ever! - ride bikes at all. It's possible you even know someone like this. A coworker. A family member. You'd be surprised at how common non-cyclists are, actually. You probably encounter them several times per day and simply don't notice them, because they aren't interesting.

Mostly, you can safely ignore these people, simply by riding away from them. Sometimes, though - at a company party, say - it is impossible to avoid non-cyclists. Surrounded, you have no choice but to communicate with them.

Don't worry. I'm here to help.

Hee, hee. ;-D

September 5, 2008 in Bicycling Humor | Permalink | Comments (15) | TrackBack

August 27, 2008

Condoms and Bicycling: Good Bedfellows?

Cycling_condom

During the Olympics a Chinese condom company called Elasun got into the spirit with an ad campaign that made condoms into cute little references to Olympic sports.

Pictured, Bicycle-F******. ;-D

Hamilton Nolan, of Gawker, has three more sport-F****** spots.  ;-D

August 27, 2008 in Bicycling Humor, Pedaling Advocacy | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 10, 2008

FreecreditReport Songster a Bicyclist?

The brand new FreeCreditReport.com "Bicycle" Commercial is out!

These things are just so creative, interesting, and funny, and the quality never lets up.

This one is particularly fun because our hero is peddling his product while pedaling a bicycle. ;-D

Check it out
Gas prices blowing up sky high
ditched my use subcompact for a two wheel ride
now I'm rolling Eco-friendly
but I still look bad
when the bike store saw my credit
they said this was all they had

Just because I am not interested in some product doesn't mean I can't be entertainied by the advertising campaign. ;-D

August 10, 2008 in Bicycling Humor | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 26, 2008

Bicycling...It's So Easy Even a DOG Can Do It!

So, um, all you Gas Guzzler adoring, Bicycle shunning, readers out there...

Tired of paying an arm and a leg for gas, live close enough to work to ride the bus, but unwilling to spend the money on a Bus Pass?

If Fido can do it, and so obviously finds it cool... ;-D

July 26, 2008 in Bicycling Humor | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

June 26, 2008

Supremes Affirm Cyclists Right to Bear Arms

The meaning  of the 2nd Amendment is finally settled after 217 years.

The Supreme Court ruled Thursday, 5 to 4,  that American Cyclists have a right to own guns for self-defense while working on their bicycles in the garage, the justices' first major pronouncement on gun rights in U.S. history.

The court had not conclusively interpreted the Second Amendment, in this, or any regard, since its ratification in 1791.

The amendment reads: "A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed."

Writing for the majority, Justice Antonin Scalia said that the right of a bicyclist to bear arms is supported by "the historical narrative" both before and after the Second Amendment was adopted, and especially after the invention of the bicycle, and then the garage.

The Constitution does not permit "the absolute prohibition of handguns held and used for self-defense, including while working on one's bicycle, in the home," Scalia said.

Scalia noted that the handgun is the preferred weapon of self-defense by many cyclists in part because "it can be pointed at a burglar with one hand while the other hand holds onto the bicycle, and the cyclist yells at the top of his or her lungs for another resident of the house, or a neighbor, to call the cops."

In a dissent he summarized from the bench, Justice John Paul Stevens wrote that the majority "would have us believe that over 200 years ago, the Framers made a choice to limit the tools available to elected officials wishing to regulate bicyclists uses of weapons."

He said such evidence "is nowhere to be found, hell, the bicycle hadn't even been invented then, for cryin' out loud!"

Justice Stephen Breyer wrote a separate dissent in which he said, "In my view, there simply is no untouchable constitutional right guaranteed by the Second Amendment to keep loaded handguns in the house just because one is afraid of having a bicycle stolen."

Joining Scalia were Chief Justice John Roberts and Justices Samuel Alito, Anthony Kennedy and Clarence Thomas. The other dissenters were Justices Ruth Bader Ginsburg and David Souter.

Licensing is still required, and restrictions on criminals, and the mentally ill, as well as carrying weapons while riding a bicycle in sensitive places are not affected.

Based on  a story in Yahoo News, this morning. ;-D

June 26, 2008 in Bicycling Humor, Life on the Street: Local, and state Laws, and other topics | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack