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July 05, 2003

Tour de France

Welcome to the Official Site of Tour de France 2003 coverage....

By THE CYCLING DUDE, that is.:-)

The big news as the race, and it IS a race, and NOT a leisurely TOUR of the French countryside, is that 4 time winner LANCE ARMSTRONG has come forward and announced that HE realizes how much he has missed over the last 4 years by not taking the time to take his time and smell the flowers, see the sights, get a few pictures, taste the food and wine, and hang out and gab with the natives.

In a pre-race press conference before the event got underway Lance shocked his teammates, the assembled press corp, and all of France, by saying that he was going to just mosey along at a leisurely 15 miles an hour and enjoy the beautiful French countryside and all it has to offer.

Then he adjusted his backpack and Camelback Mule full of water, and set out on his journey.

A spokesman for his teammates, when asked by reporters if this was a joke, had this to say:

"On a practice sprint, earlier in the week, Lance took a header while trying to dodge a heardsman and his flock crossing the road. He seemed okay at the time, but some of his teammates observed him, afterwards, spending much time on the internet visiting an American website with safe cycling links, and lengthy essays on the joys of leisurely 66 mile bike rides in the Malibu area Mountains, and 20 mile rides along the beaches. They realize, now, that maybe he should have seen a Doctor, and spent the last few days getting lots of rest."

President Bush, when asked, had this to say:

"Bicycling is good for your health, and so is taking the time to smell the flowers. Didn't Lance have health problems a few years ago?

I don't drink anymore, but the French make good food, like fries and stuff and, despite our recent political differences, I don't have any problems with French food.

Lance is a good ambassador for American values, and I hope he wins the race."

Go Lance!! :-)

July 5, 2003 in Bicycling Humor | Permalink


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