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November 29, 2008

Catch and Release Not Just an Angler Thing, and Other Cycling Terms

Catch and Release: A method of Recreational Bicycling in which the fast traveling Bicyclist immediately puts the slower cyclist he/she has caught up with back into the saddle and returns it to the road/trail on which it was caught.

Other Definitions:

Bicyclist/Cyclist: A person, male or female, who bicycles.

Bicycling Slow Species: A species that thrives in abundance and diversity, threatening the mental stability of some fellow cyclists, and many motorists by their conscious choice to take things slow and easy while out and about riding their trusty steed for recreational use. (See Catch and Release)

Ecosystem: A dynamic complex of concrete, dirt, gravel, motoring, and non-motoring, animal, and human communities and their non-living environment interacting in seperate, or interconnected ways.

Exotic: A species that is not native to a Motoring Environment, but is often encountered in certain Cycling Environments.

Most often associated with humans traveling on foot, and frequently encountered walking or jogging, with Noise Providing Devices (NPD's) attached to their heads, walking one or more Canines, of various shapes, and sizes, or while pushing strange single, or multiple, occupancy vehicles designed to transport their very young from one location to another until they are able to do so safely under their own power (Sometimes these particular Exotics also have an NPD on their heads) .

All of these could be ecountered while wearing special shoes with wheels that allow them to propel themselves faster than normal foot propulsion allows.

Lout: Non-vulgar variation of name (Hey, I'm trying to shield the kiddies reading this!) given to all species of cyclists by those they share an environment with but who think they should not do so for various reasons only understood by them.

Cutthroat Lout: Same as above but specific to that species of cyclist that runs in packs.

Native Bicycling/Cycling Species:The Human Recreationalist who utilizes the Bicycle, and its various related cycling kin, on bike lanes, paved, and un-paved trails, or even regular streets where the law allows for them to be.

Mountain Mud Human: A species of daring, some say unhinged, Human Recreationalist in the Bicycling Family. A native of many  mountain trails, Mountain Mud Humans are an often spandexed, generally seat-of-their-pants, breed of cyclist that lives for adventure, and danger.

Scientific name: Propulsium Nutso.

Whirling Disease: Name given to what happens when a cyclists steed has a flat or other mechanical breakdown, or the cyclist hits a bump, or hole in the road, or trail, collides with a fellow cyclist, or otherwise has one of those moments when he/she becomes separated from their trusty steed, and creatively impacts the road.

Not to be confused with a similar Disease related to encounters with Motor Vehicles, the whirling Disease was first introduced in Europe in the early 19th century, moments after the invention of the prototype early bicycle-like vehicle, and it was given its first test run, and has spread around the world ever since.

Scientific name: Ouchulus Thatsgonnaleaveamarkalis.

(A Tip of the Hat to reader Not Slow Joe, for the video that inspired this post!)

November 29, 2008 in Bicycling Humor | Permalink

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Comments

Yea, master Cycling Dude, Pipelinepirate over here in Prague coming at you.

Whirling Disease is a big problem due to the condition of the cobble stone paths and Tram train tracks that you must traverse at an angle or you and your steed will be sure to go down.

Not to mention that the tram is coming right at you.

This is a nice place to ride but much more dangerous then SoCal.

These folks don't know what a bike lane is here.

It's dog eat dog with cars and buses.

I'm holding my own though so far.

Haven't been riding much lately due to the %/#!en cold.

Today is a good day to ride, it might reach 46F.

This the best temp I've seen in weeks.

Great post and keep it up.

Posted by: Steve Kennedy | Dec 1, 2008 3:19:49 AM

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